the rise and fall of ziggy stardust: a reprise

i have been dwelling and dwelling and dwelling, in spite of my best efforts.

but let’s be honest: danielle trying to not dwell on something is like the earth trying to not orbit the sun.

hyper-focus, you can be a real dick sometimes.

the worst is when i get sucked so far into my own mind that i just forget everything.

par example: driving back home, and realizing half way there that i have zero recollection of anything that transpired within the last fifteen minutes outside of my brain. is this only me?

i’ve been forgetting all kinds of stupid things.

i went rollerblading in an effort to work off some of this pent-up frustration. it didn’t work. i need a bike, rollerblades are just way too slow.

and fuck everyone here drives like sixty miles an hour on the freeway. so driving has become too slow.

fucking bikes. why are you so goddamn expensive?

usually at this point i say something about not being as ornery as i sound right now but. i am just in a terrible mood.

who the fuck dwells on this kind of shit, anyway? i spent at least two hours wondering what rolling would be like. because i am a very physical contact-oriented person, and it sounds appealing.

but then what the fuck. i am so vehemently against drugs of any kind. so now i just feel disgusted with myself. who the fuck are you? you just said rolling sounds appealing. i mean fuck!

ugh i am just so annoyed with myself lately. what is all this emo shit? i wasn’t even this fucking emo when i was suicidal. which should tell you a lot about just how ridiculous i am being. i feel like i’m seventeen all over again.

i’m going to go…brood. or something.
jk.

seriously i don’t even.
what the fuck.